Thursday, December 1, 2011

Open Letter #3 and 100th post

First of all, this is my 100th post. Kind of exciting, but sad at the same time. 100 posts in 3 years is kinda pitiful. Anyway, I wanted to revisit my open letter posts for my 100th post. It's gonna be wild, and without pictures so here goes!
Dear girl-who-came-to-my-garage-door-to-sell-me-carpet-cleaning,
Hello friend. Listen, not a whole lot of strangers walk through my messy garage to ring the doorbell up the steps to my laundry room entrance. You know, that's kinda what a sidewalk and front porch are for. I don't really know you that well, and don't need to looking all up in my recycle or my shoe rack by the door. So whatevs, you're here now. You want to do what? Shampoo my carpets? Oh, well I don't really have a whole lot of carpet here in this house. This is when I start to take a look at her attire and check out her car. (I watch enough Criminal Minds to be aware of my surroundings, come on people!) So you think I'm going to let you come into my house? I see no nametag, your flyer's are kinda iffy, there's no sort of name on your truck. Yeah...probably not going to do it. Then you try to throw Jesus in the mix. You are going on a mission trip? You know the way to my heart. But still, I don't even really have carpet. Well how 'bout (and God bless me, this was my exact response) "Let me talk to my husband. Leave me your card and I'll hit you up if I ever need my carpets cleaned."
"HIT YOU UP????"
What am I, a gangsta? Whoa. As soon as she walked away, I closed the laundry room door and busted out laughing. She was probably praying I would not "hit her up" with a phone call.
Anyway, sweet girl, maybe next time you should have some business cards. And stay out of my garage. That's kinda shady.
With love,
And just for fun, here's one more!
Dear lady at the grocery store,
Hi. I just wanted to tell you that I love cheese. Ya, I could eat it every day. I'd be the Bubba Gump of cheese. Fried, grilled, whole, cold... whatever, I love cheese. But what I'm not really sure about is why you are eating SHREDDED cheese out of the bag while you do your weekly grocery shopping. I mean, you were getting down on that cheese. Did the Sargento kind that comes in cute little blocks not do it for you? You had to stick your hands down in the bag and pinch some cheese as you pushed your buggy. Or could you just not wait to get that cheese on your tacos? You had to have it Well, it's your shopping experience. I'm just a little confused by it. Until we meet again in the cheese aisle!
Let's talk cheese,
Happy 100th post! :) Thanks to the people who actually read my blog and my one reader Adrienne who bought some Strawberry Newtons for me after my last open letter. Yum. They were fine. Wish I had some now! Love ya!