letter #3

Dear 16 year old Lucy,

You scare the bejesus out of me and I have 14 years to go. I worry so much about this time with you. I can only hope that I will raise you in the right way. Let me tell you a few things though....
Be yourself. Walk to your own drumbeat. Fall in love. Laugh all the time. Be kind to all types of people. Make friends who you can trust and who will stand by you and hold your hand always. Find a passion and run with it. Daddy and I will support you. Know your roots and be respectful to your family. Try your best in school. Don't drive too fast. Don't chase the boys who can't be chased. They're not worth the heartache. Speaking of heartache, it will happen, and yes, you will get over it. You're life will not be over no matter how bad it hurts. God has made someone for you that will make your heart feel things you didn't feel possible (when you are way older!) Don't do things just because others are doing them. Drugs are really not cool, neither is underage drinking or sex. You'll have time for grown-up things when your are grown up. I don't want to be on 16 and Pregnant with you. Be kind to your teachers. There will be days when you think you hate your daddy and me, but you don't and we will know that. We will hurt you and it will feel awful, but in the end, we will usually be right and you'll see that one day when you're grown with your own kids.

I want you to be an independent, God loving girl. I want you to make good choices, and even though that won't always happen, I'll love you anyway and help you in whatever way I can. Stay true to your faith, stand up for others who have less than you, and love hard.

To picture you at 16 is exciting, scary, and funny. I look forward to seeing what you are like. I wonder if you'll have my personality and spunk. I hope you do! What a ride I'm in for!

Love,
Your momma
(and let's go ahead and get this out... If you're 16, I'm 45. Holy hockeysticks.)

Letter #2

Dear pain and suffering,

I hate you. You are rude and awful and unpredictable. I hate watching people lose their loved ones without warning. I am hurt over sick, cancer filled children. I am tired of hearing of the loss of a friend unexpectedly. I am tired of the heartache, the void, the hurt that you bring to all. Go away. I live with the hope that one day, I will be free from you and you will have no hold over us. I cling to the promise that God will give peace that surpasses all understanding. But even full faith in God does not make me like you at all.
Nikki

Praying desperately tonight for a friends who lost a brother and son, another friend who was killed this week in a car accident, and a sweet little girl fighting for her life from cancer. May our Lord and Savior hold them close and place a sweet veil of comfort over them all.

open letters

I would like to begin a series of "open letters" to things or people or organizations I would like to pick a bone with or tell them something funny. I'll try to post one every day until I get it all off my chest. These are things I might say if I didn't have a censor!


Dear Strawberry Newtons,
I love you. With a deep love. And I love you so much I sit down to just eat 3 of you and I look down and have eaten 8. You are that delicious. So delicious I try to hide them from my child so she will not love them. I finally checked the package yesterday to see how many calories I am shoveling down my throat and I was sad to see that for every 2 I gain 100 calories. Does this stop me? No. And when I pass by your lovely yellow packaging in the Publix I know I am in for such a tasty sensation I cannot say no. Do you have some kind of Newton's Anonymous? I would be the one waiting in the room with a cup of coffee trying not to think of how badly I would like a Strawberry Newton. This is all.
With love,
Nikki

23 months

Lucy Clare....You are 23 months old today. Where has time gone? This time 2 years ago I was horribly swollen, visibly pregnant and so miserable. Summer heat was awful and I couldn't even wear flip-flops (shout out to Beebs who pushed me in a wheelchair at the Kohls!) I was so excited to meet you and get to know you and I constantly wondered what kind of child you would grow to be. How amazed I am at you every day. You are funny and sweet and such a smart child (and I don't just say that because I am a teacher!) You make each day such a joy. You can count to 5, spell your name after I give you the "L" and you "think" you can read books. We love to watch you play with your toys and I love to watch how you copy things I do on a daily basis.

You are a great sleeper. We have an awesome bedtime routine that you know so well. You love to play in the tub, get your "oshen" (lotion) and your "pop" (powder) to brush your hair and then brush your teeth, to say good night to Elmo and "doors" (Dora), read your three books (usually Oliva, Goodnight Moon, and an Easter story) then crawl into bed with "monk" (monkey) and your "pas" (paci). You love to say your goodnight prayers, and we pray for everyone we know!

You really crack me up with all the thing you say "Awesome" "Good job" "High five" are things we hear constantly. You also talk about your "TaTa" (my dad) a lot. I swear I hear his name 50000000 times a day.

Your favorite foods are tomatoes and black olives. Strange, but I think you could eat your weight in them. You also love your fish, blueberries, bananas, and cheese (preferably swiss).

I have so enjoyed my summer time with you. We've been sleeping late, enjoying swimming lessons, and all our time with daddy. I love that when I play on my computer you find your laptop and sit with me. I love that you will play your music keyboard non-stop and sing into the microphone. I joke that when you are older we will be the next "Judds" and travel the world with our fabulous singing duo!

I can remember first bringing you home and being so nervous at what I was going to do with you. You are the light of my life and the joy in my heart. I am blessed, humbled, honored, and overjoyed to be your mother. I love how much you love Gigi (my mom) and Sissy (my sister) and want to call them and talk to them, and love when we go over to visit or eat supper with them.

In one more month I will have a 2 year old. 2 of the most amazing and powerful years of my life have gone by and I hope that I have cherished each day with you.

My prayer for you is that you will always live a happy and fulfilling life. That you will put God first and seek His wisdom and guidance. That you will seek His voice. My life's goal is that you will love the Lord with all your heart. You are precious child of God and I hope that I can always be an inspiration to that testimony. I love you, my sweet Lucy Clare. With a love that knows no bounds. Always. Forever. Since the moment I knew you were formed, since the moment I held you in my arms. You will always be my baby, my first born, the joy of my life. The song I had always prayed for, the musical masterpiece that played in my heart. Your daddy's princess and mommy's helper. I love you.

swimming the summer away!

Lucy and I have been taking swimming lessons at our local rec center. We love it now. Day 1 was awful. There could not have been a longer thirty minutes of my life. She screamed in my ear and tried to flash my goodies to all the other mommas. We got home that night to tell Daddy all about our day and Lucy looked at him at told him "I cry" when he asked her about lessons. So we practiced in the bathtub and on the living room floor until I felt we were ready to take on Day 2. We talked and laughed and cheered the whole way (and I called in reinforcement from Gigi) and day 2 went great! She loved it and is a little swimmer now! She still hates the board ("No! No board, mom!") but she likes to jump off the side and go under the water. She really loves floating on her back. I am so glad we decided to do this! That's been the extent of our summer. We have been taking long naps and eating ice cream sandwiches and cuddling on the couch. When I go to get on the computer, she gets her laptop and sits next to me. She's a mess!

180

180 days of.....

sweat, tears, laughter. Of working hard, holding pencils, reading, reading, reading. Of math problems and timed drills and laughter. Of dancing, and singing and laughter. Of losing my patience, of crying with hurt hearts in sweet children. Of parent-teacher conferences, and late nights on the computer. Of faculty meetings, and friends. Of sanitizer and tissue. Of small group tables, promethean boards, white boards and markers. Of sweet, loving children who want to hold my hand. Of interesting lunch combinations. Of walk-throughs and grade-levels. Of knowing that someone just learned something for the first time. Of laughter, learning and social graces. Of lunch manners and hallway manners and notebooks and treasure boxes. Of hard work, praise, and jokes. Carpet time and table time. Of "tub" time and centers. Of silly words and silly stories. Of doing my passion and following His plan. Of joy, pain, and love.

180 of the best days of my life.

All leading up to

73 days of summer freedom.